Part 9: If the carer feels ignored
3 out of 3What can you do if you feel ignored by a health professional?
If you experience feeling overlooked or ignored, it is recommended that you and the patient work together to address this issue.
Some first steps you can take are to:
- Make sure that the doctor/nurse knows who you are: If you haven’t met the clinician, say “I’m not sure we’ve properly met, I am George’s primary carer”. Even if you have met, you can reintroduce yourself and your role so you can be sure they know who you are.
- Help them realise that the patient wants you involved in their care: The patient can indicate that you are important by using inclusive body language e.g. looking to you, and verbal cues e.g. Asking you in front of the doctor: “Is there anything you would like to add or ask about? Your concerns are important too.”
- Get the doctor/nurse to see and hear you: You can try sitting forward, speaking clearly and asking questions. You could say to the clinician: “I realise you are very busy, but do you have a moment for me to ask 2 questions which I feel are very important.”
- While doctors might not actively ask the carer questions, they are usually very responsive to carers once they speak up.
If after taking these steps, you still feel that you are not being adequately included, you could try the strategies below.
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- the patient can emphasise to the doctor the importance of their carer’s involvement by telling the doctor. This could be done subtly at first “I really value [wife’s] input, let’s ask her first”.
- If this does not work, the patient could more explicitly clarify the your importance: “It is important to me that my carer is included in these conversations as they are my primary carer, and an important part of my care team.”
- You could talk with another healthcare professional (e.g. a nurse on the team). Tell them you are feeling excluded and ask for their advice.
- Seek support from another impartial health professional for their opinion on your feelings and how to proceed. This could be a social worker, psychologist, or your own GP.
No one likes feeling excluded or ignored, particularly during something stressful like cancer treatment. Try to remain calm and avoid arguing with or accusing the health professional. Sometimes, it can take time to figure out the dynamics of the care team, try not to take this exclusion personally.
OVERALL COMPLETION
